So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
