Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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