Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
