I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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