You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
