i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
