Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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