She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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