isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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