so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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