Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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