It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
