clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
