Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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