Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
