I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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