She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
