I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
