please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
