mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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