She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
