Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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