I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
