I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
