I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
