Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
