absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
