So drunk its hurt
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
