I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
