then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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