What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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