just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
