I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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