she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You need a sexual gate keeper
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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