Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
