i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
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The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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