why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
