So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
