normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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