i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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