True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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