You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
