What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
