And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
