are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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