i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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