I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
