So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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