It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
