he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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