Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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