You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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