I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
high people should be assigned attendants
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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