in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
