Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
