Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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