I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
