I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
