You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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