dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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