I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
