Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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