I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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