her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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