You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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