I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
