you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
